Ok Ok, here I hang my head in shame. Yes, it truly has been TEN months since my last post. Does that make me a bad blogger? Maybe, but in reality, it speaks measures of what its like being an intern! Frankly, being an intern suckkkks. Bad. Period. For those of you unversed in medical jargon, an intern is a first year resident, aka PGY1, aka bottom of the totem pole, aka master of scut, aka glorified secretary! I could go on, but I won't because it just makes me realize how awful it truly is. We start the year off with what I like to call "intern brain" which is basically the brain of a medical student held captive in the body of a DOCTOR! Yep, decisions with an intern brain... scarry?!
Needless to say, the last ten months have been the best and worst, super exciting but also terrifying. I have climbed the steep learning curve and feel that my intern brain has grown exponentially. I no longer feel that I will kill someone every time I make a decision without asking someone else first. I've witnessed death when it has been welcomed and also when it was one's worst fear. I've seen healing and gratitude like no other. These are the moments I already cherish. Do I have stories? Boy, do I have stories! Those will come in time. Right now, I live day to day trying to finish out this year. Two more months.... STRONG!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Has it really been a month?!
Today has been one of those days...the blah kind. The kind where nothing seems to make me happy and I can't seem to smile regardless of what I do. So, I figured writing may help take my mind off of things. It has been a crazy hectic month (and 4 days). Yes, that's how long it has been since I've updated. My apologies for those of you sitting on the edge of your chair waiting (I kid, I kid). No but seriously, I can't believe it has already been over a month! SO much has happened. Where to start?
I suppose I can start with the fact that June 2 was pretty monumental! I (& 230+ others) graduated from medical school! It is absolutely, 100% official. I AM A DOCTOR! WOW! One of my childhood dreams was realized on that day as I walked the stage. You know, maybe it wasn't actually as I walked the stage but more like after as I was sitting taking it all in. Frankly, all I was thinking as I walked the stage was to not trip and fall and make a fool of myself! I successfully made it across without stumbling, thank God. Because I am now and "A" and not a "V" in the alphabet, I walked very early in the group and had a VERY long time to sit and contemplate life and doctoring and how the two are going to be forever intertwined for the rest of my days. It's truly unbelievable how I have been blessed beyond measure and for that I am so thankful. The weekend was jam packed with family time and MOVING.
Yep, the big move finally happened. We decided at the last minute to go ahead and hire a crew to load the truck that we rented. SUCH A GREAT DECISION! They had the truck completely packed in less than 2 hours. That would have taken us all day and we would have been bent-over in exhaustion at the end of it. Cleaning was a major task in and of itself. Thank goodness for family helping! My mom, dad, brother, brother's gf and grandmother were all there. Driving off the island was surreal. It felt good but there was definitely a twinge of sadness to be leaving the life there behind. The Hubs drove the moving truck 250 miles across the state at the beginning of June WITHOUT A/C. Bless his soul...I would have died. For real...croaked. We made it to SAT and unloaded the truck into the GARAGE of our new house. Why the GARAGE you ask??? Because we weren't able to actually move INTO the house for another 7 days. That meant another week of bumming at the brother-in-law's house. It was SO nice to finally move in and have our own place. Not that I don't love our family, but having a place of our own is priceless. Crashing at other's homes is taxing and got old pretty quick.
The following week was spent unpacking and setting up the house. I say that like we are done. We are not. There are those pesky boxes of "stuff" that have no real place that I haven't figured out quite what to do with still sitting around. That and the pictures covering the couches in the living room that I can't decide where to hang or set out.... Anyone want to come help?! Otherwise, we are pretty settled. The location has already proven to be pretty great and convenient.
That brings us to last week...the beginning of orientation. I will save that topic for the next post.
To be continued....
I suppose I can start with the fact that June 2 was pretty monumental! I (& 230+ others) graduated from medical school! It is absolutely, 100% official. I AM A DOCTOR! WOW! One of my childhood dreams was realized on that day as I walked the stage. You know, maybe it wasn't actually as I walked the stage but more like after as I was sitting taking it all in. Frankly, all I was thinking as I walked the stage was to not trip and fall and make a fool of myself! I successfully made it across without stumbling, thank God. Because I am now and "A" and not a "V" in the alphabet, I walked very early in the group and had a VERY long time to sit and contemplate life and doctoring and how the two are going to be forever intertwined for the rest of my days. It's truly unbelievable how I have been blessed beyond measure and for that I am so thankful. The weekend was jam packed with family time and MOVING.
Yep, the big move finally happened. We decided at the last minute to go ahead and hire a crew to load the truck that we rented. SUCH A GREAT DECISION! They had the truck completely packed in less than 2 hours. That would have taken us all day and we would have been bent-over in exhaustion at the end of it. Cleaning was a major task in and of itself. Thank goodness for family helping! My mom, dad, brother, brother's gf and grandmother were all there. Driving off the island was surreal. It felt good but there was definitely a twinge of sadness to be leaving the life there behind. The Hubs drove the moving truck 250 miles across the state at the beginning of June WITHOUT A/C. Bless his soul...I would have died. For real...croaked. We made it to SAT and unloaded the truck into the GARAGE of our new house. Why the GARAGE you ask??? Because we weren't able to actually move INTO the house for another 7 days. That meant another week of bumming at the brother-in-law's house. It was SO nice to finally move in and have our own place. Not that I don't love our family, but having a place of our own is priceless. Crashing at other's homes is taxing and got old pretty quick.
The following week was spent unpacking and setting up the house. I say that like we are done. We are not. There are those pesky boxes of "stuff" that have no real place that I haven't figured out quite what to do with still sitting around. That and the pictures covering the couches in the living room that I can't decide where to hang or set out.... Anyone want to come help?! Otherwise, we are pretty settled. The location has already proven to be pretty great and convenient.
That brings us to last week...the beginning of orientation. I will save that topic for the next post.
To be continued....
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Gender Stereotyping in Medicine! GRRRR
Can I vent for a minute, please? Of course I can... it's my blog. I realize that sexism (or should I say gender stereotyping) exists, less extreme than it used to be, but definitely still present. My personal experiences were few prior to starting med school, but since being in medicine have increased exponentially. It drives me BONKERS every time it happens. So ladies, especially those of you that are in medicine, I'm sure you can relate. Here is how it usually goes...
Other person: "Oh you're graduating, what were you studying?? (or previously: oh you're in school... blah blah blah)"
Me: "I am finishing up medical school."
Other person: "Oh that's so great! Are you going to be a nurse? We need more great nurses!"
Me: "No, I'm going to be a doctor. Nurses go to nursing school. Doctors go to medical school."
OR:
Me: (wearing scrubs)
Other person: taps me on the shoulder, "Excuse me, NURSE"
OR:
Me: (wearing scrubs)
Attending or Resident: rambles off some orders
Me: staring blankly
Attending or Resident: "aren't you that patient's nurse?"
Me: (staring blankly) "Um, no. I'm a med student."
SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY EVERYONE ASSUMES THAT A FEMALE IN SCRUBS IS A NURSE?! THAT NEVER HAPPENS TO THE MALES...I'VE ASKED. It even happens ALL THE TIME in the non-medical community (see first scenario).
JUST BECAUSE I'M A GIRL DOESN'T MEAN I'M A NURSE!!! Come on now!
Other person: "Oh you're graduating, what were you studying?? (or previously: oh you're in school... blah blah blah)"
Me: "I am finishing up medical school."
Other person: "Oh that's so great! Are you going to be a nurse? We need more great nurses!"
Me: "No, I'm going to be a doctor. Nurses go to nursing school. Doctors go to medical school."
OR:
Me: (wearing scrubs)
Other person: taps me on the shoulder, "Excuse me, NURSE"
OR:
Me: (wearing scrubs)
Attending or Resident: rambles off some orders
Me: staring blankly
Attending or Resident: "aren't you that patient's nurse?"
Me: (staring blankly) "Um, no. I'm a med student."
SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY EVERYONE ASSUMES THAT A FEMALE IN SCRUBS IS A NURSE?! THAT NEVER HAPPENS TO THE MALES...I'VE ASKED. It even happens ALL THE TIME in the non-medical community (see first scenario).
JUST BECAUSE I'M A GIRL DOESN'T MEAN I'M A NURSE!!! Come on now!
Monday, May 21, 2012
Still hard to believe...
It's beginning to happen on almost a daily basis now. To believe that the first time was only a few weeks ago and now daily, and still, every time it happens I am taken aback. Dr. "Ash". That's me... yep... still hasn't really sunk in...still strange when the mail comes addressed to me as Dr. I realize that I now have less than a month before orientation starts and that pretty much terrifies me in a way and excites me at the same time. The conflicting emotions are SO confusing! I went by the VA last week to have my fingerprints done and as I was sitting in the HR office I had a very surreal moment. There were several other people coming in to be printed as well, all of them interns. I had a moment of depersonalization as I sat there. It reminded me (and yes I am about to say it) of a Grey's Anatomy moment. I am about to be an INTERN....the dreaded NEW interns. Gah..... we know that everyone hates us and thinks that we are incompetent. I'm sure that everyone chuckles as they begin to see the lost "terns" walking through the halls, staring at their papers trying to figure out where they are supposed to be. That was totally me...lost...staring at my map...getting directions from the first person with a badge I came across. So it begins...prayers would be appreciated! Somehow, I have to figure out how to not look like a fool! AND to top things off, I'm ON CALL my VERY FIRST DAY OF WORK! Let's hope the expectations aren't too high and my uppers will be nice to me! Geez.... I'm SO not ready for this!
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Insanity just showed me how insanely out of shape I am... sad
I've decided I should stop being lazy and try to get my butt into shape over the next month or so before I have to start running up and down the wards. I thought about it for a good month or two and am now actually doing something about it. Isn't that usually how it works?! You plan out all of these amazing workouts in your mind and then don't end up doing anything; kinda like Pinterest! LOL (I, however, have made it a point to try quite a few things that I have pinned thus far and have been happy with ALMOST all of them).
So in my quest to get into shape, I downloaded Shaun T's Insanity series. I cheated a little by doing the Fit Test a few days before actually beginning the workouts, but that was mainly because after JUST the fit test I was so sore! The two people that he has demonstrating the moves made me a little angry with how many reps they were able to finish in the allotted time period. Some days being competitive is REALLY annoying, mainly when I'm losing! Today was my first REAL workout day. Plyometrics Cardio Circuit. For those of you that don't know what plyometrics are, it's basically a lot of jumping moves. Halfway through, I was already drenched in sweat and gasping for air. Ugh, I knew I was out of shape and was prepared to get my butt kicked, but it was pretty brutal. I can see it now, when I wake up in the morning and roll over to get out of bed, I'm going to regret every jump and lunge I did today! Let's hope for continued success with Day 2! I will keep you posted.
So in my quest to get into shape, I downloaded Shaun T's Insanity series. I cheated a little by doing the Fit Test a few days before actually beginning the workouts, but that was mainly because after JUST the fit test I was so sore! The two people that he has demonstrating the moves made me a little angry with how many reps they were able to finish in the allotted time period. Some days being competitive is REALLY annoying, mainly when I'm losing! Today was my first REAL workout day. Plyometrics Cardio Circuit. For those of you that don't know what plyometrics are, it's basically a lot of jumping moves. Halfway through, I was already drenched in sweat and gasping for air. Ugh, I knew I was out of shape and was prepared to get my butt kicked, but it was pretty brutal. I can see it now, when I wake up in the morning and roll over to get out of bed, I'm going to regret every jump and lunge I did today! Let's hope for continued success with Day 2! I will keep you posted.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Signed, Sealed and Delivered...well, sort of
****Drum roll please****
We have a house! Paperwork is signed and we have a potential move in date of June 9th with the hopes of getting in a few days earlier! Sighs of relief all around, please. Now, onto the packing and moving parts. I've been doing some hunting and getting quotes and can I just say that moving is so PRICEY! It is so much more than the last time we hired movers to move everything to the island. Grant it, that was only a 45 mile move, but still... Donations would gladly be accepted to be added to the moving fund!
In other news, I'm a bachelorette for the next month. The hubs has already packed up and moved to SAT and started his new job on Monday. It is eerily quiet around here sometimes and I can only talk to the dogs so much... I need feedback and not just head tilts. It has only been a few days and I'm already going nuts. I spent the ENTIRE day shopping yesterday, and I believe most of the day before shopping online...definitely not what I need to be doing right now before we shell out all of the dough to move! Again, this is why we need donations to the moving fund! I know I should be using this time to pack and organize, but I've yet to acquire boxes. I am scouring the internet for listings because I think it is silly to spend hundreds on packing boxes when they are easily recycled and reused. If any of you know of anyone with boxes, pass their info along!
So I know all of you are back simply because I mentioned BABIES in my teaser post and I have a feeling that you are about to be disappointed when you realize that there are no babies to announce in this household... my apologies, but had to get you to come back didn't I?! I am obviously in the "time-to procreate" stage of life because nearly all of my college and high school friends are on baby one or two (some even more). I feel like every time I log onto Facebook, someone else is announcing their pregnancy (or having it announced for them accidentally!). I mean, seriously?! As if having all of our friends having babies wasn't enough torture! After spending few days cuddling miss Zoe last week, I definitely felt the tug, but listening to her scream inconsolably calmed that a bit! LOL...she's still a precious little thing and I loved our cuddle time and being able to spoil someone else's baby. I can't wait for us to have one of our own, however the Hubs has already put his foot down and said I am forbidden from blogging about it when the time comes! Booo... if only I hadn't forced him to subscribe to this blog so that I could have peace of mind in knowing I had at least on reader. All I can say is that being surrounded by people with babies will eventually get to you. I can spend hours looking at baby clothes and stuff, part of this is probably the result of my working in a baby boutique a few years back and just loving baby stuff! We definitely need higher paying jobs before this family expands! Intern year + baby sounds terrifying! So, I think the wait continues...
Moving on... headed to my parents for a week to help them move into their FINALLY finished remodeled home... not sure if I will be able to post or not, but let's just hope I will. Hope all is well with everyone! Any moving tips or pointers that you'd like to share?! Please do!
Blessings!
We have a house! Paperwork is signed and we have a potential move in date of June 9th with the hopes of getting in a few days earlier! Sighs of relief all around, please. Now, onto the packing and moving parts. I've been doing some hunting and getting quotes and can I just say that moving is so PRICEY! It is so much more than the last time we hired movers to move everything to the island. Grant it, that was only a 45 mile move, but still... Donations would gladly be accepted to be added to the moving fund!
In other news, I'm a bachelorette for the next month. The hubs has already packed up and moved to SAT and started his new job on Monday. It is eerily quiet around here sometimes and I can only talk to the dogs so much... I need feedback and not just head tilts. It has only been a few days and I'm already going nuts. I spent the ENTIRE day shopping yesterday, and I believe most of the day before shopping online...definitely not what I need to be doing right now before we shell out all of the dough to move! Again, this is why we need donations to the moving fund! I know I should be using this time to pack and organize, but I've yet to acquire boxes. I am scouring the internet for listings because I think it is silly to spend hundreds on packing boxes when they are easily recycled and reused. If any of you know of anyone with boxes, pass their info along!
So I know all of you are back simply because I mentioned BABIES in my teaser post and I have a feeling that you are about to be disappointed when you realize that there are no babies to announce in this household... my apologies, but had to get you to come back didn't I?! I am obviously in the "time-to procreate" stage of life because nearly all of my college and high school friends are on baby one or two (some even more). I feel like every time I log onto Facebook, someone else is announcing their pregnancy (or having it announced for them accidentally!). I mean, seriously?! As if having all of our friends having babies wasn't enough torture! After spending few days cuddling miss Zoe last week, I definitely felt the tug, but listening to her scream inconsolably calmed that a bit! LOL...she's still a precious little thing and I loved our cuddle time and being able to spoil someone else's baby. I can't wait for us to have one of our own, however the Hubs has already put his foot down and said I am forbidden from blogging about it when the time comes! Booo... if only I hadn't forced him to subscribe to this blog so that I could have peace of mind in knowing I had at least on reader. All I can say is that being surrounded by people with babies will eventually get to you. I can spend hours looking at baby clothes and stuff, part of this is probably the result of my working in a baby boutique a few years back and just loving baby stuff! We definitely need higher paying jobs before this family expands! Intern year + baby sounds terrifying! So, I think the wait continues...
Moving on... headed to my parents for a week to help them move into their FINALLY finished remodeled home... not sure if I will be able to post or not, but let's just hope I will. Hope all is well with everyone! Any moving tips or pointers that you'd like to share?! Please do!
Blessings!
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Update coming soon!
I know I need to write a new post... coming soon. PROMISE!
-update on residency relocation
-babies
-who knows what else I will throw in
-update on residency relocation
-babies
-who knows what else I will throw in
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